An interesting test from @carbonaddiction

Pete over at Carbon Addiction has devised a little quiz to determine if one is a road bike snob. I was going to answer in a comment but it got a little long and involved. So I put it here instead.

1. Do you find it difficult to say hello to a passing commuter on a flat-bar hybrid?

I find it difficult to say hello to anyone. I’m too busy desperately trying to suck in all the oxygen in the surrounding 100m³, sweating into my own eyes and drooling from both sides of the mouth. To say hello in that state would be… unseemly. I’d probably get reported to the RSPCA as a rabid animal.

Also, I’d risk projecting spittle into the face of the passing commuter in question.

So no, not even trying.

2. Do you secretly laugh inside at the sight of a rider with a sun visor on his or her helmet?

No. But zipties, now they’re another matter entirely. Seriously. I mean. Man. Zipties? They don’t even work and you end up looking like Sonic The Hedgehog’s senile grandpa.  Yeah, I secretly laugh inside at that.

Also openly. On the outside.

3. Do you pity social riders who wear WorldTour team kit in public?

I dunno. Which team is it? Oh no, not Mapei? Or that seethrough Team Sky thing?

Oh no the mental pictures please make them stop NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

4. Would you be embarrassed to ride with someone who has reflectors on their wheels or, heaven forbid, a bell on their handlebars?

Nah, I always had a secret crush on Mary Poppins. Didn’t we all?

5. Are you allergic to steel bicycle frames or wheels wider than 23mm?

Everyone who’s anyone is riding 25mm these days, don’tcherknow. And I have a steel framed 26er somewhere, just waiting for me to rebuild it as a singlespeed. So no.

6. Is 29km/h too slow?

29km/h is a perfectly respectable average speed.

Uphill.

Or on a mountain bike.

7. If someone has their sunglasses inside their helmet straps do you notice?

Yes. It’s a safety thing. If your straps are over your sunglass arms then turning your head can dislodge the glasses off your nose and cause a distraction and therefore an accident. I’ve done it myself. If you’re a highly aware rider, like you should be, it’s really annoying having your sunglasses pushed around on your face just because you’ve forgotten to put them on right. I had no smartass answer for this one. Sorry.

So there we go. I think it’s just possible I’m a road bike snob. Or a mountain bike snob. Or maybe just a snob. I don’t even know.

Thanks Pete.

Thanks.